I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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