people are starting to question the shark bite story
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
