Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you would pick up someone in the library
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
