i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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