She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
