did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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