Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
