I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she looked like the before picture.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
