Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
