When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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