i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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