What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
