You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
