Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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