Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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