I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
