Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
