threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
