Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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