she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He? As in you personified your dick?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
