my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
