so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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