sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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