I need help removing her.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
