i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This toilet bowl is my home.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
