Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
