if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
