Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
