Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
