The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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