Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't turn off my feet"
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