We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
do nipples grow back?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
