He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
