Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My cat gives me a boner
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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