I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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