even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
