Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
