I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
