uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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