I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
