Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
