Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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