i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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