Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How external is "for external use only"?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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