I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
