I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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