If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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