Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
