i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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