Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
